Доводы рассудка
Chapter 23
Therehehadseeneverythingtoexaltinhisestimationthewomanhehadlost;andtherebeguntodeplorethepride,thefolly,themadnessofresentment,whichhadkepthimfromtryingtoregainherwhenthrowninhisway.
Fromthatperiodhispenancehadbecomesevere.HehadnosoonerbeenfreefromthehorrorandremorseattendingthefirstfewdaysofLouisa’saccident,nosoonerbeguntofeelhimselfaliveagain,thanhehadbeguntofeelhimself,thoughalive,notatliberty.
“Ifound,”saidhe,“thatIwasconsideredbyHarvilleanengagedman!ThatneitherHarvillenorhiswifeentertainedadoubtofourmutualattachment.Iwasstartledandshocked.Toadegree,Icouldcontradictthisinstantly;but,whenIbegantoreflectthatothersmighthavefeltthesame—herownfamily,nay,perhapsherself—Iwasnolongeratmyowndisposal.Iwashersinhonourifshewishedit.Ihadbeenunguarded.Ihadnotthoughtseriouslyonthissubjectbefore.Ihadnotconsideredthatmyexcessiveintimacymusthaveitsdangerofillconsequenceinmanyways;andthatIhadnorighttobetryingwhetherIcouldattachmyselftoeitherofthegirls,attheriskofraisingevenanunpleasantreport,weretherenootherilleffects.Ihadbeengrosslywrong,andmustabidetheconsequences.”
Hefoundtoolate,inshort,thathehadentangledhimself;andthatpreciselyashebecamefullysatisfiedofhisnotcaringforLouisaatall,hemustregardhimselfasboundtoher,ifhersentimentsforhimwerewhattheHarvillessupposed.