Американские боги

           SohemarkedoffthedaysonhisSongbirdsofNorthAmericacalendar,whichwastheonlycalendartheysoldintheprisoncommissary,andthesunwentdownandhedidn’tseeitandthesuncameupandhedidn’tseeit.Hepracticedcointricksfromabookhefoundinthewastelandoftheprisonlibrary;andheworkedout;andhemadelistsinhisheadofwhathe’ddowhenhegotoutofprison.

           Shadow’slistsgotshorterandshorter.Aftertwoyearshehaditdowntothreethings.

           First,hewasgoingtotakeabath.Areal,long,serioussoak,inatubwithbubbles.Maybereadthepaper,maybenot.Somedayshethoughtoneway,somedaystheother.

           Second,hewasgoingtotowelhimselfoff,putonarobe.Maybeslippers.Helikedtheideaofslippers.Ifhesmokedhewouldbesmokingapipeaboutnow,buthedidn’tsmoke.Hewouldpickuphiswifeinhisarms("Puppy,"shewouldsquealinmockhorrorandrealdelight,"whatareyoudoing?).Hewouldcarryherintothebedroom,andclosethedoor.They’dcalloutforpizzasiftheygothungry.

           Third,afterheandLaurahadcomeoutofthebedroom,maybeacoupleofdayslater,hewasgoingtokeephisheaddownandstayoutoftroublefortherestofhislife.

           "Andthenyou’llbehappy?"askedLowKeyLyesmith.Thatdaytheywereworkingintheprisonshop,assemblingbirdfeeders,whichwasbarelymoreinterestingthanstampingoutlicenseplates.

           "Callnomanhappy,"saidShadow,"untilheisdead."

           "Herodotus,"saidLowKey."Hey.You’relearning."