Американские боги

           Theownerapologizesagain,andthebishopismostgracious,hewellunderstandstheproblem,therearesuchlawlessandungodlytypesintheworldtoday,suchimmoralityandlewdnessabroadintheworld—andshamelesswomen,andnowthattheunderworldhascrawledoutofthegutterandcometoliveonthescreensofthepicturepalaceswhatmorecouldanyoneexpect?Andthenecklaceisplacedinitscase,andthestoreownerdoeshisbestnottoponderwhyabishopofthechurchwouldbepurchasingatwelve-hundred-dollardiamondnecklace,norwhyhewouldbepayinggoodcashmoneyforit."Thebishopbidshimaheartyfarewell,andwalksoutonthestreet,onlyforaheavyhandtodescendonhisshoulder.‘Why,Soapy,yezspalpeen,uptoyouroldtricksareyou?’andabroadbeatcopwithanhonestIrishfacewalksthebishopbackintothejewelrystore.

           "‘Beggin’yourpardon,buthasthismanjustboughtanythingfromyou?’asksthecop.‘Certainlynot,’saysthebishop.‘TellhimIhavenot.’‘Indeedhehas,’saysthejeweler.‘Heboughtapearlanddiamondnecklacefromme—paidforitincashaswell.’‘Wouldyouhavethebillsavailable,sir?’asksthecop.

           "Sothejewelertakesthetwelvehundred-dollarbillsfromthecashregisterandhandsthemtothecop,whoholdsthemuptothelightandshakeshisheadinwonder.