1984

           This,Winstonwasaware,wasnotmeantaltogetherseriously,butsomehowitfittedinwiththegeneralideologyoftheParty. ThePartywastryingtokillthesexinstinct,or,ifitcouldnotbekilled,thentodistortitanddirtyit. Hedidnotknowwhythiswasso,butitseemednaturalthatitshouldbeso. Andasfarasthewomenwereconcerned,theParty’seffortswerelargelysuccessful. 

           HethoughtagainofKatharine. Itmustbenine,ten—nearlyelevenyearssincetheyhadparted. Itwascurioushowseldomhethoughtofher. Fordaysatatimehewascapableofforgettingthathehadeverbeenmarried. Theyhadonlybeentogetherforaboutfifteenmonths. ThePartydidnotpermitdivorce,butitratherencouragedseparationincaseswheretherewerenochildren. 

           Katharinewasatall,fair-hairedgirl,verystraight,withsplendidmovements. Shehadabold,aquilineface,afacethatonemighthavecallednobleuntilonediscoveredthattherewasasnearlyaspossiblenothingbehindit. Veryearlyinhermarriedlifehehaddecided—thoughperhapsitwasonlythatheknewhermoreintimatelythanheknewmostpeople—thatshehadwithoutexceptionthemoststupid,vulgar,emptymindthathehadeverencountered. Shehadnotathoughtinherheadthatwasnotaslogan,andtherewasnoimbecility,absolutelynonethatshewasnotcapableofswallowingifthePartyhandeditouttoher. ‘Thehumansound-track’henicknamedherinhisownmind. Yethecouldhaveenduredlivingwithherifithadnotbeenforjustonething—sex. 

           Assoonashetouchedhersheseemedtowinceandstiffen. Toembraceherwaslikeembracingajointedwoodenimage. Andwhatwasstrangewasthatevenwhenshewasclaspinghimagainstherhehadthefeelingthatshewassimultaneouslypushinghimawaywithallherstrength.