1984
Chapter 8
‘Iknowwhatyouexpectmetosay,’hesaid. ‘YouexpectmetosayasI’dsoonerbeyoungagain. Mostpeople’dsaythey’dsoonerbeyoung,ifyouarst’em. Yougotyour’ealthandstrengthwhenyou’reyoung. Whenyougettomytimeoflifeyouain’tneverwell. Isuffersomethingwickedfrommyfeet,andmybladder’sjestterrible. Sixandseventimesanightit’asmeoutofbed. Ontheother’and,there’sgreatadvantagesinbeingaoldman. Youain’tgotthesameworries. Notruckwithwomen,andthat’sagreatthing. Iain’t’adawomanfornearonthirtyyear,ifyou’dcreditit. Norwantedto,what’smore.’
Winstonsatbackagainstthewindow-sill. Itwasnousegoingon. Hewasabouttobuysomemorebeerwhentheoldmansuddenlygotupandshuffledrapidlyintothestinkingurinalatthesideoftheroom. Theextrahalf-litrewasalreadyworkingonhim. Winstonsatforaminuteortwogazingathisemptyglass,andhardlynoticedwhenhisfeetcarriedhimoutintothestreetagain. Withintwentyyearsatthemost,hereflected,thehugeandsimplequestion,‘WaslifebetterbeforetheRevolutionthanitisnow?’ wouldhaveceasedonceandforalltobeanswerable. Butineffectitwasunanswerableevennow,sincethefewscatteredsurvivorsfromtheancientworldwereincapableofcomparingoneagewithanother. Theyrememberedamillionuselessthings,aquarrelwithaworkmate,ahuntforalostbicyclepump,theexpressiononalong-deadsister’sface,theswirlsofdustonawindymorningseventyyearsago: butalltherelevantfactswereoutsidetherangeoftheirvision. Theywereliketheant,whichcanseesmallobjectsbutnotlargeones. Andwhenmemoryfailedandwrittenrecordswerefalsified—whenthathappened,theclaimofthePartytohaveimprovedtheconditionsofhumanlifehadgottobeaccepted,becausetheredidnotexist,andneveragaincouldexist,anystandardagainstwhichitcouldbetested.
