Коллекционер

           I’mhispiginapoke.

           Isthatwhyhekeepsme?HopingthedreamMirandawillappear?

           PerhapsIshouldbehisdream-girl.Putmyarmsroundhimandkisshim.Praisehim,pathim,strokehim.Kisshim.

           Ididn’tmeanthat.Butit’smademethink.

           PerhapsIreallyshouldkisshim.Morethankisshim.Lovehim.MakePrinceCharmingstepout.

           I’mthinkinghoursbetweeneachsentenceIwrite.

           I’vegottomakehimfeelthatfinallyI’vebeentouchedbyhischivalryandsoonandsoon...

           Thisisextraordinary.

           Hewouldhavetoact.

           IamsureIcandoit.Atleasthe’sscrupulouslyclean.Heneversmellsofanythingbutsoap.

           I’mgoingtosleeponit.

           November28th

           I’vecometoatremendousdecisiontoday.

           I’veimaginedbeinginbedwithhim.

           It’suselessjustkissinghim.I’vegottogivehimsuchatremendousshockthathe’llhavetoreleaseme.Becauseyoucan’tverywellimprisonsomeonewho’sgivenherselftoyou.

           Ishallbeinhispower.Icouldn’tevergotothepolice.Ishouldonlywanttohushitup.

           It’ssoobvious.Itstaresoneintheface.

           Likeareallygoodsacrificeatchess.

           It’slikedrawing.Youcan’tnibbleataline.Theboldnessistheline.

           Ithoughtoutallthesexfacts.IwishIknewalittlemoreaboutmen,IwishIwasabsolutelysure,thatIdidn’thavetogoonthingsheard,read,halfunderstood,butI’mgoingtolethimdowhatPierswantedtodoinSpain—whattheycallScotchlove.Getmeintobedifhewants.Playwithmeifhewants.