Chapter 1

           Whenshewashomefromherboarding-schoolIusedtoseeheralmosteverydaysometimes,becausetheirhousewasrightoppositetheTownHallAnnexe.Sheandheryoungersisterusedtogoinandoutalot,oftenwithyoungmen,whichofcourseIdidn’tlike.WhenIhadafreemomentfromthefilesandledgersIstoodbythewindowandusedtolookdownovertheroadoverthefrostingandsometimesI’dseeher.IntheeveningImarkeditinmyobservationsdiary,atfirstwithX,andthenwhenIknewhernamewithM.Isawherseveraltimesoutsidetoo.IstoodrightbehindheronceinaqueueatthepubliclibrarydownCrossfieldStreet.Shedidn’tlookonceatme,butIwatchedthebackofherheadandherhairinalongpigtail.Itwasverypale,silky,likeBurnetcocoons.Allinonepigtailcomingdownalmosttoherwaist,sometimesinfront,sometimesattheback.Sometimessheworeitup.Onlyonce,beforeshecametobemyguesthere,didIhavetheprivilegetoseeherwithitloose,andittookmybreathawayitwassobeautiful,likeamermaid.

           AnothertimeoneSaturdayoffwhenIwentuptotheNaturalHistoryMuseumIcamebackonthesametrain.Shesatthreeseatsdownandsidewaystome,andreadabook,soIcouldwatchherforthirty-fiveminutes.SeeingheralwaysmademefeellikeIwascatchingararity,goinguptoitverycareful,heart-in-mouthastheysay.APaleCloudedYellow,forinstance.Ialwaysthoughtofherlikethat,Imeanwordslikeelusiveandsporadic,andveryrefined—notliketheotherones,eventheprettyones.Morefortherealconnoisseur.

           TheyearshewasstillatschoolIdidn’tknowwhoshewas,onlyhowherfatherwasDoctorGreyandsometalkIoverheardonceataBugSectionmeetingabouthowhermotherdrank.