Коллекционер

           AndIdon’tfeelG.P.isafather-husband.

           It’snogood.Icouldgoonwritingargumentsforandagainstallnight.

           Emma.Thebusinessofbeingbetweeninexperiencedgirlandexperiencedwomanandtheawfulproblemoftheman.CalibanisMr.Elton.PiersisFrankChurchill.ButisG.P.Mr.Knightley?

           OfcourseG.P.haslivedalifeandhasviewsthatwouldmakeMr.Knightleyturninhisgrave.ButMr.Knightleycouldneverhavebeenaphoney.Becausehewasahaterofpretence,selfishness,snobbism.

           Andtheybothhavetheoneman’snameIreallycan’tstand.George.Perhapsthere’samoralinthat.

           November18th

           Ihaveeatennothingforfivedays.I’vedrunksomewater.Hebringsmefood,butIhavetouchednotonecrumb.

           TomorrowIamgoingtostarteatingagain.

           Abouthalfanhourago,Istoodupandfeltfaint.Hadtositdownagain.Ihaven’tfeltillsofar.Justtummypainsandabitweak.Butthiswassomethingdifferent.Awarning.

           I’mnotgoingtodieforhim.

           Ihaven’tneededfood.Ihavebeensofullofhatredforhimandhisbeastliness.

           Hisvilecowardice.

           Hisselfishness.

           HisCalibanity.

           November19th

           Forallthattime,Ididn’twanttowrite.SometimesIwantedto.Thenitseemedweak.Likeacceptingthings.IknewassoonasIwroteitdownI’dgoofftheboil.ButnowIthinkitneedswritingdown.Recording.Hedidthistome.

           Outrage.

           Whatlittlefriendship,humanity,goodnaturetherewasbetweenushasgone.

           Fromnowonweareenemies.Bothways.