Коллекционер

           Shewentbackthenextday.Shesaiditwastosayshewassorry.And(herwords),"Itjusthappened."

           Iwassojealous.Theymademefeelolderthantheywere.Theywerelikenaughtychildren.Happy-with-a-secret.ThenthatIwasfrigid.Icouldn’tbeartoseeG.P.Intheend,itmusthavebeenaweeklater,herangmeupagainoneeveningatCaroline’s.Hedidn’tsoundguilty.IsaidIwastoobusytoseehim.Iwouldn’tgoroundthatevening,no.Ifhehadpressed,Iwouldhaverefused.Butheseemedtobeabouttoringoff,andIsaidI’dgoroundthenextday.IsowantedhimtoknowIwashurt.Youcan’tbehurtoveratelephone.

           Carolinesaid,Ithinkyou’reseeingtoomuchofhim.

           Isaid,he’shavinganaffairewiththatSwedishgirl.

           Weevenhadatalkaboutit.Iwasveryfair.Idefendedhim.ButinbedIlayandaccusedhimtomyself.Forhours.

           Thefirstthinghesaidthenextdaywas(nopretending)—hasshebeenabitchtoyou?

           Isaid,no.Notatall.Then,asifIdidn’tcare,whyshouldshe?

           Hesmiled.Iknowwhatyou’refeeling,heseemedtosay.Itmademewanttoslaphisface.Icouldn’tlookasifIdidn’tcare,whichmadeitworse.

           Hesaid,menarevile.

           Isaid,thevilestthingaboutthemisthattheycansaythatwithasmileontheirfaces.

           Thatistrue,hesaid.Andtherewassilence.IwishedIhadn’tcome,IwishedI’dcuthimoutofmylife.Ilookedatthebedroomdoor.Itwasajar,Icouldseetheendofthebed.