Коллекционер

           Inhisworld,notthisonehere.Irememberedsomuch.Iwouldhavelikedtowriteitalldown.Igorgedmyselfonmemories.Thisworldmakesthatworldseemsoreal,soliving,sobeautiful.Eventhesordidpartsofit.

           Andpartly,too,it’sbeenasortofindulginginwickedvanityaboutmyself.RememberingthingsG.P.hassaidtome,andotherpeople.KnowingIamratheraspecialperson.KnowingIamintelligent,knowingthatIambeginningtounderstandlifemuchbetterthanmostpeopleofmyage.EvenknowingthatIshallneverbesostupidastobevainaboutit,butbegrateful,beterriblyglad(especiallyafterthis)tobealive,tobewhoIam—Miranda,andunique.

           Ishallneverletanyoneseethis.Evenifitisthetruth,itmustsoundvain.

           JustasIneverletothergirlsseethatIknowIampretty;nobodyknowshowI’vefallenovermyselfnottotakethatunfairadvantage.Wanderingmaleeyes,eventhenicest,I’vesnubbed.

           Minny:onedaywhenI’dbeengushingaboutherdresswhenshewasgoingouttoadance.Shesaid,shutup.You’resoprettyyoudon’tevenhavetotry.

           G.P.saying,you’veeverykindofface.

           Wicked.

           October21st

           I’mmakinghimcookbetter.Absolutebanonfrozenfood.Imusthavefruit,greenvegetables.Ihavesteak.Salmon.Iorderedhimtogetcaviareyesterday.ItirritatesmethatIcan’tthinkofenoughrarefoodsIhaven’thadandhavewantedtohave.

           Pig.

           Caviareiswonderful.

           I’vehadanotherbath.