Коллекционер

           Hemakesmechange,hemakesmewanttodanceroundhim,bewilderhim,dazzlehim,dumbfoundhim.He’ssoslow,sounimaginative,solifeless.Likezincwhite.Iseeit’sasortoftyrannyhehasoverme.Heforcesmetobechangeable,toact.Toshowoff.Thehatefultyrannyofweakpeople.G.P.saiditonce.

           Theordinarymanisthecurseofcivilization.

           Buthe’ssoordinarythathe’sextraordinary.

           Hetakesphotographs.Hewantstotakea"portrait"ofme.

           Thentherewerehisbutterflies,whichIsupposewereratherbeautiful.Yes,ratherbeautifullyarranged,withtheirpoorlittlewingsstretchedoutallatthesameangle.AndIfeltforthem,poordeadbutterflies,myfellow-victims.Theoneshewasproudestofwerewhathecalledaberrations!

           Downstairsheletmewatchhimmaketea(intheoutercellar),andsomethingridiculoushesaidmademelaugh—orwanttolaugh.

           Terrible.

           IsuddenlyrealizedthatIwasgoingmadtoo,thathewaswickedlywickedlycunning.Ofcoursehedoesn’tmindwhatIsayabouthim.ThatIbreakhismiserablechinaduck.Becausesuddenlyhehasme(it’smad,hekidnappedme)laughingathimandpouringouthistea,asifI’mhisbestgirlfriend.

           Isworeathim.Iwasmymother’sdaughter.Abitch.

           Thereitis,Minny.Iwishyouwerehereandwecouldtalkinthedark.IfIcouldjusttalktosomeoneforafewminutes.SomeoneIlove.Imakeitsoundbrightersomuchbrighterthanitis.

           I’mgoingtocryagain.

           It’ssounfair.