Зима тревоги нашей

           Maybetheassembly-linepsychoanalystsaren’tdealingwithcomplexesatallbutwiththosewarheadsthatmayonedaybemushroomclouds.ItdoesseemtomethatnearlyeveryoneIseeisnervousandrestlessandalittleloudandgailycrazylikepeoplegettingdrunkonNewYear’sEve.Shouldauldacquaintancebeforgotandkissyourneighbor’swife.

           Iturnedmyheadtowardmine.Shewasnotsmilinginhersleep.Hermouthwasdrawndownandtherewerelinesofwearinessaroundhersquinched-shuteyesandsoshewassick,becausethat’sthewayshelookswhensheissick.Sheisthewellestwifeintheworlduntilsheissick,whichisn’toften,andthensheisthesickestwifeintheworld.

           Anotherflightofjetsexplodedthroughsound.Wehadmaybeahalf-millionyearstogetusedtofireandlessthanfifteentobuildthinkingaboutthisforcesoextravagantlymorefiercethanfire.Wouldweeverhavethechancetomakeatoolofthis?Ifthelawsofthinkingarethelawsofthings,canfissionbehappeninginthesoul?Isthatwhatishappeningtome,tous?

           IrememberastoryAuntDeborahtoldmelongago.EarlyinthelastcenturysomeofmypeoplewereCambellites.AuntDeborahwasachildthen,butsherememberedhowtheendoftheworldwascomingatacertaintime.Herparentsgaveeverythingaway,everythingtheyownedbutthebedsheets.ThosetheyputonandatthepredictedtimetheywenttothehillstomeettheEndoftheWorld.Dressedinsheets,hundredsofpeopleprayedandsang.