Зима тревоги нашей

           Hadshereallyseenthevisionofthesnake?Thatwouldbethesimplestexplanationandprobablythetrueone.Maybeshewastrulyintuitive,anintruderintothemindsofothers.Thefactthatshehadcaughtmemidwayinametamorphosismademelikelytobelievethis,butitcouldhavebeenanaccident.ButwhatmadeherruntoMontaukwhenshehadnotintendedtogo,joinupwiththedrummer,spillthebeanstoMarullo?SomehowIdidn’tbelieveshespilledthingsshedidn’tintendtospill.Somewhereintheatticbookcasestherewasanaccountofthelifeof—wasitBering?No,Baranov,AlexanderBaranov,theRussiangovernorsomewherenear1800.MaybetherewouldbesomereferencetoAlaskaasaprisonforwitches.Itwastoounlikelyastorytobemadeup.Imustlook.IthoughtmaybeIcouldcreepuptherenowwithoutwakingMary.

           ThenIheardacreakoftheoldoakstairtreads,thenasecondandathird,soIknewitwasnotasettlingofthehousefromachangeoftemperature.IthadtobeEllenwalkinginhersleep.

           OfcourseIlovemydaughter,butsometimesshefrightensmeforsheseemstohavebeenbornclever,atoncejealousandloving.ShewasalwaysjealousofherbrotherandoftenIfeelsheisjealousofme.Itseemedtomethatherpreoccupationwithsexbeganveryearly.Maybefathersalwaysfeelthis.Whenshewasaverylittlegirl,heruninhibitedinterestinmalegenitaliawasembarrassing.Thenshewentintothesecrecyofchange.Herewasnoangelicinnocentgirlhoodofthemagazines.