Эмма

Chapter 13

           Shewishedhimtospeak,buthewouldnot.Shesupposedshemustsaymorebeforeshewereentitledtohisclemency;butitwasahardcasetobeobligedstilltolowerherselfinhisopinion.Shewenton,however.

           "Ihaveverylittletosayformyownconduct.Iwastemptedbyhisattentions,andallowedmyselftoappearpleased.Anoldstory,probablyacommoncaseandnomorethanhashappenedtohundredsofmysexbefore;andyetitmaynotbethemoreexcusableinonewhosetsupasIdoforUnderstanding.Manycircumstancesassistedthetemptation.HewasthesonofMr.WestonhewascontinuallyhereIalwaysfoundhimverypleasantand,inshort,for(withasigh)letmeswelloutthecauseseversoingeniously,theyallcentreinthisatlastmyvanitywasflattered,andIallowedhisattentions.Latterly,howeverforsometime,indeedIhavehadnoideaoftheirmeaninganything.Ithoughtthemahabit,atrick,nothingthatcalledforseriousnessonmyside.Hehasimposedonme,buthehasnotinjuredme.Ihaveneverbeenattachedtohim.AndnowIcantolerablycomprehendhisbehaviour.Heneverwishedtoattachme.Itwasmerelyablindtoconcealhisrealsituationwithanother.Itwashisobjecttoblindallabouthim;andnoone,Iamsure,couldbemoreeffectuallyblindedthanmyselfexceptthatIwasnotblindedthatitwasmygoodfortunethat,inshort,Iwassomehoworothersafefromhim.

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