Поющие в терновнике

           Allthereis.IdomeanwhatIsay,Rain.NothingiswhatIelecttohavefromyou.Lookafteryourself.

           Shehadsigneditwiththeusualbold,black"Justine,"anditwaswrittenwiththenewfelt-tippedpenshehadhailedsogleefullywhenhegaveittoher,asaninstrumentthickanddarkandpositiveenoughtosatisfyher.

           Hedidn’tfoldthenoteandputitinhiswallet,orburnit;hedidwhathedidwithallmailnotrequiringananswer—ranitthroughtheelectricshredderfixedtohiswastebaskettheminutehehadfinishedreadingit.ThinkingtohimselfthatDane’sdeathhadeffectivelyputanendtoJustine’semotionalawakening,andbitterlyunhappy.Itwasn’tfair.Hehadwaitedsolong.

           AttheweekendheflewtoLondonanywaybutnottoseeher,thoughhedidseeher.Onthestage,astheMoor’sbelovedwife,Desdemona.Formidable.Therewasnothinghecoulddoforherthestagecouldn’t,notforawhile.That’smygoodgirl!Pouritalloutonthestage.

           ***

           Onlyshecouldn’tpouritalloutonthestage,forshewastooyoungtoplayHecuba.Thestagewassimplytheoneplaceofferingpeaceandforgetfulness.Shecouldonlytellherself:Timehealsallwounds—whilenotbelievingit.Askingherselfwhyitshouldgoonhurtingso.WhenDanewasaliveshehadn’treallythoughtverymuchabouthimexceptwhenshewaswithhim,andaftertheyweregrownuptheirtimetogetherhadbeenlimited,theirvocationsalmostopposed.Buthisgoinghadcreatedagapsohugeshedespairedofeverfillingit.