Над пропастью во ржи

           ThenIstartedwalkingupthestairstotheprincipal’sofficesoIcouldgivethenotetosomebodythatwouldbringittoherinherclassroom.Ifoldeditabouttentimessonobody’dopenit.Youcan’ttrustanybodyinagoddamschool.ButIknewthey’dgiveittoherifIwasherbrotherandall.

           WhileIwaswalkingupthestairs,though,allofasuddenIthoughtIwasgoingtopukeagain.Only,Ididn’t.Isatdownforasecond,andthenIfeltbetter.ButwhileIwassittingdown,Isawsomethingthatdrovemecrazy.Somebody’dwritten"Fuckyou"onthewall.Itdrovemedamnnearcrazy.IthoughthowPhoebeandalltheotherlittlekidswouldseeit,andhowthey’dwonderwhatthehellitmeant,andthenfinallysomedirtykidwouldtellthem—allcockeyed,naturally—whatitmeant,andhowthey’dallthinkaboutitandmaybeevenworryaboutitforacoupleofdays.Ikeptwantingtokillwhoever’dwrittenit.Ifigureditwassomepervertybumthat’dsneakedintheschoollateatnighttotakealeakorsomethingandthenwroteitonthewall.Ikeptpicturingmyselfcatchinghimatit,andhowI’dsmashhisheadonthestonestepstillhewasgoodandgoddamdeadandbloody.ButIknew,too,Iwouldn’thavethegutstodoit.Iknewthat.Thatmademeevenmoredepressed.Ihardlyevenhadthegutstorubitoffthewallwithmyhand,ifyouwanttoknowthetruth.IwasafraidsometeacherwouldcatchmerubbingitoffandwouldthinkI’dwrittenit.ButIrubbeditoutanyway,finally.ThenIwentonuptotheprincipal’soffice.

           Theprincipaldidn’tseemtobearound,butsomeoldladyaroundahundredyearsoldwassittingatatypewriter.ItoldherIwasPhoebeCaulfield’sbrother,in4B-1,andIaskedhertopleasegivePhoebethenote.Isaiditwasveryimportantbecausemymotherwassickandwouldn’thavelunchreadyforPhoebeandthatshe’dhavetomeetmeandhavelunchinadrugstore.