Над пропастью во ржи

           Ihadquiteabitoftimetokilltillteno’clock,sowhatIdid,IwenttothemoviesatRadioCity.ItwasprobablytheworstthingIcould’vedone,butitwasnear,andIcouldn’tthinkofanythingelse.

           Icameinwhenthegoddamstageshowwason.TheRocketteswerekickingtheirheadsoff,thewaytheydowhenthey’reallinlinewiththeirarmsaroundeachother’swaist.Theaudienceapplaudedlikemad,andsomeguybehindmekeptsayingtohiswife,"Youknowwhatthatis?That’sprecision."Hekilledme.Then,aftertheRockettes,aguycameoutinatuxedoandrollerskateson,andstartedskatingunderabunchoflittletables,andtellingjokeswhilehedidit.Hewasaverygoodskaterandall,butIcouldn’tenjoyitmuchbecauseIkeptpicturinghimpracticingtobeaguythatroller-skatesonthestage.Itseemedsostupid.IguessIjustwasn’tintherightmood.Then,afterhim,theyhadthisChristmasthingtheyhaveatRadioCityeveryyear.Alltheseangelsstartcomingoutoftheboxesandeverywhere,guyscarryingcrucifixesandstuffallovertheplace,andthewholebunchofthem—thousandsofthem—singing"ComeAllYeFaithful!"likemad.Bigdeal.It’ssupposedtobereligiousashell,Iknow,andveryprettyandall,butIcan’tseeanythingreligiousorpretty,forGod’ssake,aboutabunchofactorscarryingcrucifixesalloverthestage.Whentheywereallfinishedandstartedgoingouttheboxesagain,youcouldtelltheycouldhardlywaittogetacigaretteorsomething.IsawitwitholdSallyHayestheyearbefore,andshekeptsayinghowbeautifulitwas,thecostumesandall.IsaidoldJesusprobablywould’vepukedifHecouldseeit—allthosefancycostumesandall.SallysaidIwasasacrilegiousatheist.Iprobablyam.ThethingJesusreallywould’velikedwouldbetheguythatplaysthekettledrumsintheorchestra.