Над пропастью во ржи

           Oryou’dhaveasubstitutetakingtheclass,insteadofMissAigletinger.Oryou’dheardyourmotherandfatherhavingaterrificfightinthebathroom.Oryou’djustpassedbyoneofthosepuddlesinthestreetwithgasolinerainbowsinthem.Imeanyou’dbedifferentinsomeway—Ican’texplainwhatImean.AndevenifIcould,I’mnotsureI’dfeellikeit.

           ItookmyoldhuntinghatoutofmypocketwhileIwalked,andputiton.IknewIwouldn’tmeetanybodythatknewme,anditwasprettydampout.Ikeptwalkingandwalking,andIkeptthinkingaboutoldPhoebegoingtothatmuseumonSaturdaysthewayIusedto.Ithoughthowshe’dseethesamestuffIusedtosee,andhowshe’dbedifferenteverytimeshesawit.Itdidn’texactlydepressmetothinkaboutit,butitdidn’tmakemefeelgayashell,either.Certainthingstheyshouldstaythewaytheyare.Yououghttobeabletosticktheminoneofthosebigglasscasesandjustleavethemalone.Iknowthat’simpossible,butit’stoobadanyway.Anyway,IkeptthinkingaboutallthatwhileIwalked.

           Ipassedbythisplaygroundandstoppedandwatchedacoupleofverytinykidsonaseesaw.Oneofthemwassortoffat,andIputmyhandontheskinnykid’send,tosortofevenuptheweight,butyoucouldtelltheydidn’twantmearound,soIletthemalone.

           Thenafunnythinghappened.WhenIgottothemuseum,allofasuddenIwouldn’thavegoneinsideforamillionbucks.Itjustdidn’tappealtome—andhereI’dwalkedthroughthewholegoddamparkandlookedforwardtoitandall.IfPhoebe’dbeenthere,Iprobablywouldhave,butshewasn’t.