Над пропастью во ржи

           Hecertainlyhaditonhismind."Listen,"hesaid."Ifyouwasafish,MotherNature’dtakecareofyou,wouldn’tshe?Right?Youdon’tthinkthemfishjustdiewhenitgetstobewinter,doya?"

           "No,but—"

           "You’regoddamrighttheydon’t,"Horwitzsaid,anddroveofflikeabatoutofhell.HewasaboutthetouchiestguyIevermet.Everythingyousaidmadehimsore.

           Eventhoughitwassolate,oldErnie’swasjampacked.Mostlywithprepschooljerksandcollegejerks.AlmosteverydamnschoolintheworldgetsoutearlierforChristmasvacationthantheschoolsIgoto.Youcouldhardlycheckyourcoat,itwassocrowded.Itwasprettyquiet,though,becauseErniewasplayingthepiano.Itwassupposedtobesomethingholy,forGod’ssake,whenhesatdownatthepiano.Nobody’sthatgood.Aboutthreecouples,besidesme,werewaitingfortables,andtheywereallshovingandstandingontiptoestogetalookatoldErniewhileheplayed.Hehadabigdamnmirrorinfrontofthepiano,withthisbigspotlightonhim,sothateverybodycouldwatchhisfacewhileheplayed.Youcouldn’tseehisfingerswhileheplayed—justhisbigoldface.Bigdeal.I’mnottoosurewhatthenameofthesongwasthathewasplayingwhenIcamein,butwhateveritwas,hewasreallystinkingitup.Hewasputtingallthesedumb,show-offyripplesinthehighnotes,andalotofotherverytrickystuffthatgivesmeapainintheass.Youshould’veheardthecrowd,though,whenhewasfinished.Youwould’vepuked.Theywentmad.Theywereexactlythesamemoronsthatlaughlikehyenasinthemoviesatstuffthatisn’tfunny.