Первые люди на Луне
Chapter 19 — Mr. Bedford Alone
Whatisthisspiritinmanthaturgeshimforevertodepartfromhappinessandsecurity,totoil,toplacehimselfindanger,toriskevenareasonablecertaintyofdeath?ItdawneduponmeupthereinthemoonasathingIoughtalwaystohaveknown,thatmanisnotmadesimplytogoaboutbeingsafeandcomfortableandwellfedandamused.Almostanyman,ifyouputthethingtohim,notinwords,butintheshapeofopportunities,willshowthatheknowsasmuch.Againsthisinterest,againsthishappiness,heisconstantlybeingdriventodounreasonablethings.Someforcenothimselfimpelshim,andgohemust.Butwhy?Why?Sittingthereinthemidstofthatuselessmoongold,amidstthethingsofanotherworld,Itookcountofallmylife.AssumingIwastodieacastawayuponthemoon,IfailedaltogethertoseewhatpurposeIhadserved.Igotnolightonthatpoint,butatanyrateitwasclearertomethanithadeverbeeninmylifebeforethatIwasnotservingmyownpurpose,thatallmylifeIhadintruthneverservedthepurposesofmyprivatelife.Whosepurposes,whatpurposes,wasIserving?...Iceasedtospeculateonwhywehadcometothemoon,andtookawidersweep.WhyhadIcometotheearth?WhyhadIaprivatelifeatall?...Ilostmyselfatlastinbottomlessspeculations....
Mythoughtsbecamevagueandcloudy,nolongerleadingindefinitedirections.Ihadnotfeltheavyorweary—Icannotimagineonedoingsouponthemoon—butIsupposeIwasgreatlyfatigued.AtanyrateIslept.