Первые люди на Луне

Chapter 19 — Mr. Bedford Alone

           Whatisthisspiritinmanthaturgeshimforevertodepartfromhappinessandsecurity,totoil,toplacehimselfindanger,toriskevenareasonablecertaintyofdeath?ItdawneduponmeupthereinthemoonasathingIoughtalwaystohaveknown,thatmanisnotmadesimplytogoaboutbeingsafeandcomfortableandwellfedandamused.Almostanyman,ifyouputthethingtohim,notinwords,butintheshapeofopportunities,willshowthatheknowsasmuch.Againsthisinterest,againsthishappiness,heisconstantlybeingdriventodounreasonablethings.Someforcenothimselfimpelshim,andgohemust.Butwhy?Why?Sittingthereinthemidstofthatuselessmoongold,amidstthethingsofanotherworld,Itookcountofallmylife.AssumingIwastodieacastawayuponthemoon,IfailedaltogethertoseewhatpurposeIhadserved.Igotnolightonthatpoint,butatanyrateitwasclearertomethanithadeverbeeninmylifebeforethatIwasnotservingmyownpurpose,thatallmylifeIhadintruthneverservedthepurposesofmyprivatelife.Whosepurposes,whatpurposes,wasIserving?...Iceasedtospeculateonwhywehadcometothemoon,andtookawidersweep.WhyhadIcometotheearth?WhyhadIaprivatelifeatall?...Ilostmyselfatlastinbottomlessspeculations....

           Mythoughtsbecamevagueandcloudy,nolongerleadingindefinitedirections.Ihadnotfeltheavyorweary—Icannotimagineonedoingsouponthemoon—butIsupposeIwasgreatlyfatigued.AtanyrateIslept.

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