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Murdering the Innocents

           YoumustdiscardthewordFancyaltogether.Youhavenothingtodowithit.Youarenottohave,inanyobjectofuseorornament,whatwouldbeacontradictioninfact.Youdon’twalkuponflowersinfact;youcannotbeallowedtowalkuponflowersincarpets.Youdon’tfindthatforeignbirdsandbutterfliescomeandperchuponyourcrockery;youcannotbepermittedtopaintforeignbirdsandbutterfliesuponyourcrockery.Younevermeetwithquadrupedsgoingupanddownwalls;youmustnothavequadrupedsrepresenteduponwalls.Youmustuse,’saidthegentleman,‘forallthesepurposes,combinationsandmodifications(inprimarycolours)ofmathematicalfigureswhicharesusceptibleofproofanddemonstration.Thisisthenewdiscovery.Thisisfact.Thisistaste.’

           Thegirlcurtseyed,andsatdown.Shewasveryyoung,andshelookedasifshewerefrightenedbythematter-of-factprospecttheworldafforded.

           ‘Now,ifMr.M’Choakumchild,’saidthegentleman,‘willproceedtogivehisfirstlessonhere,Mr.Gradgrind,Ishallbehappy,atyourrequest,toobservehismodeofprocedure.’

           Mr.Gradgrindwasmuchobliged.‘Mr.M’Choakumchild,weonlywaitforyou.’

           So,Mr.M’Choakumchildbeganinhisbestmanner.Heandsomeonehundredandfortyotherschoolmasters,hadbeenlatelyturnedatthesametime,inthesamefactory,onthesameprinciples,likesomanypianofortelegs.Hehadbeenputthroughanimmensevarietyofpaces,andhadansweredvolumesofhead-breakingquestions

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