Chapter 13
Itwasallverywelltojointhem,butspeakingtothemprovedquiteasmuchaseveraneffortbeyondmystrength—offered,inclosequarters,difficultiesasinsurmountableasbefore.Thissituationcontinuedamonth,andwithnewaggravationsandparticularnotes,thenoteaboveall,sharperandsharper,ofthesmallironicconsciousnessonthepartofmypupils.Itwasnot,IamassuretodayasIwassurethen,mymereinfernalimagination:itwasabsolutelytraceablethattheywereawareofmypredicamentandthatthisstrangerelationmade,inamanner,foralongtime,theairinwhichwemoved.Idon’tmeanthattheyhadtheirtonguesintheircheeksordidanythingvulgar,forthatwasnotoneoftheirdangers:Idomean,ontheotherhand,thattheelementoftheunnamedanduntouchedbecame,betweenus,greaterthananyother,andthatsomuchavoidancecouldnothavebeensosuccessfullyeffectedwithoutagreatdealoftacitarrangement.Itwasasif,atmoments,wewereperpetuallycomingintosightofsubjectsbeforewhichwemuststopshort,turningsuddenlyoutofalleysthatweperceivedtobeblind,closingwithalittlebangthatmadeuslookateachother—for,likeallbangs,itwassomethinglouderthanwehadintended—thedoorswehadindiscreetlyopened.AllroadsleadtoRome,andthereweretimeswhenitmighthavestruckusthatalmosteverybranchofstudyorsubjectofconversationskirtedforbiddenground.