Поворот винта

           Onleavingher,aftermyfirstoutbreak,Ihadofcoursereturnedtomypupils,associatingtherightremedyformydismaywiththatsenseoftheircharmwhichIhadalreadyfoundtobeathingIcouldpositivelycultivateandwhichhadneverfailedmeyet.Ihadsimply,inotherwords,plungedafreshintoFlora’sspecialsocietyandtherebecomeaware—itwasalmostaluxury!—thatshecouldputherlittleconscioushandstraightuponthespotthatached.Shehadlookedatmeinsweetspeculationandthenhadaccusedmetomyfaceofhaving“cried.”IhadsupposedIhadbrushedawaytheuglysigns:butIcouldliterally—forthetime,atallevents—rejoice,underthisfathomlesscharity,thattheyhadnotentirelydisappeared.Togazeintothedepthsofblueofthechild’seyesandpronouncetheirlovelinessatrickofprematurecunningwastobeguiltyofacynicisminpreferencetowhichInaturallypreferredtoabjuremyjudgmentand,sofarasmightbe,myagitation.Icouldn’tabjureformerelywantingto,butIcouldrepeattoMrs.Grose—asIdidthere,overandover,inthesmallhours—thatwiththeirvoicesintheair,theirpressureonone’sheart,andtheirfragrantfacesagainstone’scheek,everythingfelltothegroundbuttheirincapacityandtheirbeauty.Itwasapitythat,somehow,tosettlethisonceforall,Ihadequallytore-enumeratethesignsofsubtletythat,intheafternoon,bythelakehadmadeamiracleofmyshowofself-possession.