Chapter 12
NOSTROMOhadbeengrowingrichveryslowly.Itwasaneffectofhisprudence.Hecouldcommandhimselfevenwhenthrownoffhisbalance.Andtobecometheslaveofatreasurewithfullself-knowledgeisanoccurrencerareandmentallydisturbing.Butitwasalsoinagreatpartbecauseofthedifficultyofconvertingitintoaforminwhichitcouldbecomeavailable.Themereactofgettingitawayfromtheislandpiecemeal,littlebylittle,wassurroundedbydifficulties,bythedangersofimminentdetection.HehadtovisittheGreatIsabelinsecret,betweenhisvoyagesalongthecoast,whichweretheostensiblesourceofhisfortune.Thecrewofhisownschoonerweretobefearedasiftheyhadbeenspiesupontheirdreadedcaptain.Hedidnotdarestaytoolonginport.Whenhiscoasterwasunloaded,hehurriedawayonanothertrip,forhefearedarousingsuspicionevenbyaday’sdelay.Sometimesduringaweek’sstay,ormore,hecouldonlymanageonevisittothetreasure.Andthatwasall.Acoupleofingots.Hesufferedthroughhisfearsasmuchasthroughhisprudence.Todothingsbystealthhumiliatedhim.Andhesufferedmostfromtheconcentrationofhisthoughtuponthetreasure.
Atransgression,acrime,enteringaman’sexistence,eatsituplikeamalignantgrowth,consumesitlikeafever.Nostromohadlosthispeace;thegenuinenessofallhisqualitieswasdestroyed.Hefeltithimself,andoftencursedthesilverofSanTome.