Голод

Part IV

           IfIwereluckyenoughtogetanythingwritten,itwouldhaveperforcetobeherewhereitwasquiet.Itwasnolongertheallegorythatoccupiedme;Ihadgotanewidea,aperfectlysplendidplot;Iwouldcomposeaone-actdrama"TheSignoftheCross."SubjecttakenfromtheMiddleAges.Ihadespeciallythoughtouteverythinginconnectionwiththeprincipalcharacters:amagnificentlyfanaticalharlotwhohadsinnedinthetemple,notfromweaknessordesire,butforhateagainstheaven;sinnerrightatthefootofthealtar,withthealtar-clothunderherhead,justoutofdeliciouscontemptforheaven.

           Igrewmoreandmoreobsessedbythiscreationasthehourswenton.Shestoodatlast,palpably,vividlyembodiedbeforemyeyes,andwasexactlyasIwishedhertoappear.Herbodywastobedeformedandrepulsive,tall,verylean,andratherdark;andwhenshewalked,herlonglimbsshouldgleamthroughherdraperiesateverystrideshetook.Shewasalsotohavelargeoutstandingears.Curtly,shewasnothingfortheeyetodwellupon,barelyendurabletolookat.Whatinterestedmeinherwasherwonderfulshamelessness,thedesperatelyfullmeasureofcalculatedsinwhichshehadcommitted.Shereallyoccupiedmetoomuch,mybrainwasabsolutelyinflatedbythissingularmonstrosityofacreature,andIworkedfortwohours,withoutapause,atmydrama.

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