Если я останусь

           Sheputdownaplateofhashandathicksliceofsourdoughbread,andeventhoughIcouldn’timaginebeinghungry,mymouthwateredandmystomachrumbledandIwassuddenlyravenous.Iatesilently,Momwatchingmeallthewhile.Aftereveryonewasdone,MomsenttherestofthemintothelivingroomtowatchtheRoseParadeonTV.

           "Everyoneout,"sheordered."MiaandIwilldothewashingup."

           Assoonaseveryonewasgone,MomturnedtomeandIjustfellagainsther,cryingandreleasingallofthetensionanduncertaintyofthelastfewweeks.Shestoodtheresilently,lettingmeblubberalloverhersweater.WhenIstopped,sheheldoutthesponge."Youwash.I’lldry.We’lltalk.Ialwaysfinditcalming.Thewarmwater,thesoap."

           Mompickedupthedishtowelandwewenttowork.AndItoldheraboutAdamandme."Itwaslikewehadthisperfectyearandahalf,"Isaid."SoperfectthatInevereventhoughtaboutthefuture.Aboutittakingusindifferentdirections."

           Mom’ssmilewasbothsadandknowing."Ithoughtaboutit."

           Iturnedtoher.Shewasstaringstraightoutthewindow,watchingacoupleofsparrowsbatheinapuddle."IrememberlastyearwhenAdamcameoverforChristmasEve.Itoldyourfatherthatyou’dfalleninlovetoosoon."

           "Iknow,Iknow.Whatdoesadumbkidknowaboutlove?"

           Momstoppeddryingaskillet."That’snotwhatImeant.Theopposite,really.YouandAdamneverstruckmeasa‘high-school’relationship,"Momsaidmakingquotemarkswithherhands.