Если я останусь

4:57 A.M.

           OnNewYear’sDay,IcamehometofindtherestofmyfamilygatheredinthekitchenwithHenry,Willow,andthebaby.Dadwasmakingbreakfast:smoked-salmonhash,hisspecialty.

           Henryshookhisheadwhenhesawme."Lookatthekidstoday.Seemslikejustyesterdaythatstumblinghomeateighto’clockfeltearly.NowI’dkilljusttobeabletosleepuntileight."

           "Wedidn’tevenmakeittillmidnight,"Willowadmitted,bouncingthebabyonherlap."Goodthing,becausethislittleladydecidedtostarthernewyearatfive-thirty."

           "Istayeduptillmidnight!"Teddyyelled."IsawtheballdroponTVattwelve.It’sinNewYork,youknow?Ifyoumovethere,willyoutakemetoseeitdropinreallife?"heasked.

           "Sure,Teddy,"Isaidfeigningenthusiasm.TheideaofmegoingtoNewYorkwasseemingmoreandmorereal,andthoughthisgenerallyfilledmewithanervous,ifconflicted,excitement,theimageofmeandTeddyhangingouttogetheronNewYear’sEveleftmefeelingunbearablylonely.

           Momlookedatme,eyebrowsarched."It’sNewYear’sDay,soIwon’tgiveyoushitforcominginatthishour.Butifyou’rehungover,you’regrounded."

           "I’mnot.Ihadonebeer.I’mjusttired."

           "Justtired,isit?Yousure?"Momgrabbedaholdofmywristandturnedmetowardher.Whenshesawmystrickenexpression,shetiltedherheadtothesideasiftosay,Youokay?Ishruggedandbitmyliptokeepfromlosingit.Momnodded.Shehandedmeacupofcoffeeandledmetothetable.

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