Если я останусь
4:57 A.M.
AdamandIhadneverbeenthekindofcoupletotalkaboutthefuture,aboutwhereourrelationshipwasgoing,butwiththingssuddenlysounclear,weavoidedtalkingaboutanythingthatwashappeningmorethanafewweeksaway,andthismadeourconversationsasstiltedandawkwardasthey’dbeeninthoseearlyweekstogetherbeforewe’dfoundourgroove.Oneafternooninthefall,Ispottedabeautiful1930ssilkgowninthevintagestorewhereDadboughthissuitsandIalmostpointeditouttoAdamandaskedifhethoughtIshouldwearthattotheprom,butpromwasinJuneandmaybeAdamwouldbeontourinJuneormaybeI’dbetoobusygettingreadyforJuilliard,soIdidn’tsayanything.Notlongafterthat,Adamwascomplainingabouthisdecrepitguitar,sayinghewantedtogetavintageGibsonSG,andIofferedtogetitforhimforhisbirthday.Butthenhesaidthatthoseguitarscostthousandsofdollars,andbesideshisbirthdaywasn’tuntilSeptember,andthewayhesaidSeptember,itwaslikeajudgeissuingaprisonsentence.
Afewweeksago,wewenttoaNewYear’sEvepartytogether.Adamgotdrunk,andwhenmidnightcame,hekissedmehard."Promiseme.Promisemeyou’llspendNewYear’swithmenextyear,"hewhisperedintomyear.
IwasabouttoexplainthatevenifIdidgotoJuilliard,I’dbehomeforChristmasandNewYear’s,butthenIrealizedthatwasn’tthepoint.SoIpromisedhimbecauseIwantedittobetrueasmuchashedid.AndIkissedhimbacksohard,likeIwastryingtomergeourbodiesthroughourlips.
