Матильда
The Weekly Test
Hewasalongwayoffthegroundwhenshereleasedhimandheplummetedtoearthandhitthefloorandbouncedlikeafootball.
"Getupandstopwhimpering,"theTrunchbullbarked.Rupertgotupandwentbacktohisdeskmassaginghisscalpwithbothhands.TheTrunchbullreturnedtothefrontoftheclass.Thechildrensattherehypnotised.Noneofthemhadseenanythingquitelikethisbefore.Itwassplendidentertainment.Itwasbetterthanapantomime,butwithonebigdifference.Inthisroomtherewasanenormoushumanbombinfrontofthemwhichwasliabletoexplodeandblowsomeonetobitsanymoment.Thechildren’seyeswererivetedontheHeadmistress."Idon’tlikesmallpeople,"shewassaying."Smallpeopleshouldneverbeseenbyanybody.Theyshouldbekeptoutofsightinboxeslikehairpinsandbuttons.Icannotforthelifeofmeseewhychildrenhavetotakesolongtogrowup.Ithinktheydoitonpurpose."
Anotherextremelybravelittleboyinthefrontrowspokeupandsaid,"Butsurelyyouwereasmallpersononce,MissTrunchbull,weren’tyou?"
"Iwasneverasmallperson,"shesnapped."IhavebeenlargeallmylifeandIdon’tseewhyotherscan’tbethesameway."
"Butyoumusthavestartedoutasababy,"theboysaid."Me!Ababy!"shoutedtheTrunchbull."Howdareyousuggestsuchathing!Whatcheek!Whatinfernalinsolence!What’syourname,boy?Andstandupwhenyouspeaktome!"
Theboystoodup."MynameisEricInk,MissTrunchbull,"hesaid.
"Ericwhat?"theTrunchbullshouted.
"Ink,"theboysaid.
