Arithmetic

           Matildalongedforherparentstobegoodandlovingandunderstandingandhonourableandintelligent.Thefactthattheywerenoneofthesethingswassomethingshehadtoputupwith.Itwasnoteasytodoso.Butthenewgameshehadinventedofpunishingoneorbothofthemeachtimetheywerebeastlytohermadeherlifemoreorlessbearable.

           Beingverysmallandveryyoung,theonlypowerMatildahadoveranyoneinherfamilywasbrainpower.Forsheerclevernessshecouldrunringsaroundthemall.Butthefactremainedthatanyfive-year-oldgirlinanyfamilywasalwaysobligedtodoasshewastold,howeverasininetheordersmightbe.ThusshewasalwaysforcedtoeathereveningmealsoutofTV-dinner-traysinfrontofthedreadedbox.Shealwayshadtostayaloneonweekdayafternoons,andwhenevershewastoldtoshutup,shehadtoshutup.

           Hersafety-valve,thethingthatpreventedherfromgoingroundthebend,wasthefunofdevisinganddishingoutthesesplendidpunishments,andthelovelythingwasthattheyseemedtowork,atanyrateforshortperiods.ThefatherinparticularbecamelesscockyandunbearableforseveraldaysafterreceivingadoseofMatilda’smagicmedicine.

           Theparrot-in-the-chimneyaffairquitedefinitelycooledbothparentsdownalotandforoveraweektheywerecomparativelyciviltotheirsmalldaughter.Butalas,thiscouldn’tlast.Thenextflare-upcameoneeveninginthesitting-room.Mr.Wormwoodhadjustreturnedfromwork.