1984

           Itmusthavebeenaboutamonthbeforeshedisappeared.Itwasamomentofreconciliation,whenthenagginghungerinhisbellywasforgottenandhisearlieraffectionforherhadtemporarilyrevived. Herememberedthedaywell,apelting,drenchingdaywhenthewaterstreameddownthewindow-paneandthelightindoorswastoodulltoreadby. Theboredomofthetwochildreninthedark,crampedbedroombecameunbearable. Winstonwhinedandgrizzled,madefutiledemandsforfood,frettedabouttheroompullingeverythingoutofplaceandkickingthewainscotinguntiltheneighboursbangedonthewall,whiletheyoungerchildwailedintermittently. Intheendhismothersaid, ‘Nowbegood,andI’llbuyyouatoy. Alovelytoy—you’llloveit’; andthenshehadgoneoutintherain,toalittlegeneralshopwhichwasstillsporadicallyopennearby,andcamebackwithacardboardboxcontaininganoutfitofSnakesandLadders. Hecouldstillrememberthesmellofthedampcardboard. Itwasamiserableoutfit. Theboardwascrackedandthetinywoodendiceweresoill-cutthattheywouldhardlylieontheirsides. Winstonlookedatthethingsulkilyandwithoutinterest. Butthenhismotherlitapieceofcandleandtheysatdownonthefloortoplay. Soonhewaswildlyexcitedandshoutingwithlaughterasthetiddly-winksclimbedhopefullyuptheladdersandthencameslitheringdownthesnakesagain,almosttothestarting-point. Theyplayedeightgames,winningfoureach. Histinysister,tooyoungtounderstandwhatthegamewasabout,hadsatproppedupagainstabolster,laughingbecausetheotherswerelaughing. Forawholeafternoontheyhadallbeenhappytogether,asinhisearlierchildhood. 

           Hepushedthepictureoutofhismind. Itwasafalsememory.Hewastroubledbyfalsememoriesoccasionally. Theydidnotmattersolongasoneknewthemforwhattheywere.