1984

           Theysatdownontwoironchairs,sidebysidebutnottooclosetogether. Hesawthatshewasabouttospeak. Shemovedherclumsyshoeafewcentimetresanddeliberatelycrushedatwig. Herfeetseemedtohavegrownbroader,henoticed. 

           ‘Ibetrayedyou,’shesaidbaldly. 

           ‘Ibetrayedyou,’hesaid. 

           Shegavehimanotherquicklookofdislike. 

           ‘Sometimes,’shesaid,‘theythreatenyouwithsomethingsomethingyoucan’tstandupto,can’teventhinkabout. Andthenyousay, "Don’tdoittome,doittosomebodyelse,doittoso-and-so." Andperhapsyoumightpretend,afterwards,thatitwasonlyatrickandthatyoujustsaidittomakethemstopanddidn’treallymeanit. Butthatisn’ttrue. Atthetimewhenithappensyoudomeanit. Youthinkthere’snootherwayofsavingyourself,andyou’requitereadytosaveyourselfthatway. YouWANTittohappentotheotherperson. Youdon’tgiveadamnwhattheysuffer.Allyoucareaboutisyourself.’ 

           ‘Allyoucareaboutisyourself,’heechoed. 

           ‘Andafterthat,youdon’tfeelthesametowardstheotherpersonanylonger.’ 

           ‘No,’hesaid,‘youdon’tfeelthesame.’ 

           Theredidnotseemtobeanythingmoretosay. Thewindplasteredtheirthinoverallsagainsttheirbodies. Almostatonceitbecameembarrassingtositthereinsilence:besides,itwastoocoldtokeepstill. ShesaidsomethingaboutcatchingherTubeandstooduptogo.