1984

           Itmightmeananything:defeat,breakdown,theredivisionoftheworld,thedestructionoftheParty! Hedrewadeepbreath. Anextraordinarymedleyoffeeling—butitwasnotamedley,exactly;ratheritwassuccessivelayersoffeeling,inwhichonecouldnotsaywhichlayerwasundermost—struggledinsidehim. 

           Thespasmpassed. Heputthewhiteknightbackinitsplace,butforthemomenthecouldnotsettledowntoseriousstudyofthechessproblem. Histhoughtswanderedagain. Almostunconsciouslyhetracedwithhisfingerinthedustonthetable: 

           2+2=5 

           ‘Theycan’tgetinsideyou,’shehadsaid. Buttheycouldgetinsideyou. ‘WhathappenstoyouhereisFOREVER,’O’Brienhadsaid. Thatwasatrueword. Therewerethings,yourownacts,fromwhichyoucouldneverrecover. Somethingwaskilledinyourbreast:burntout,cauterizedout. 

           Hehadseenher;hehadevenspokentoher. Therewasnodangerinit. Heknewasthoughinstinctivelythattheynowtookalmostnointerestinhisdoings. Hecouldhavearrangedtomeetherasecondtimeifeitherofthemhadwantedto. Actuallyitwasbychancethattheyhadmet. ItwasinthePark,onavile,bitingdayinMarch,whentheearthwaslikeironandallthegrassseemeddeadandtherewasnotabudanywhereexceptafewcrocuseswhichhadpushedthemselvesuptobedismemberedbythewind. Hewashurryingalongwithfrozenhandsandwateringeyeswhenhesawhernottenmetresawayfromhim. Itstruckhimatoncethatshehadchangedinsomeill-definedway. Theyalmostpassedoneanotherwithoutasign,thenheturnedandfollowedher,notveryeagerly.