1984

           Hehadlonggrownusedtosleepingwithastronglightonhisface. Itseemedtomakenodifference,exceptthatone’sdreamsweremorecoherent. Hedreamedagreatdealallthroughthistime,andtheywerealwayshappydreams. HewasintheGoldenCountry,orhewassittingamongenormousglorious,sunlitruins,withhismother,withJulia,withO’Brien—notdoinganything,merelysittinginthesun,talkingofpeacefulthings. Suchthoughtsashehadwhenhewasawakeweremostlyabouthisdreams. Heseemedtohavelostthepowerofintellectualeffort,nowthatthestimulusofpainhadbeenremoved. Hewasnotbored,hehadnodesireforconversationordistraction. Merelytobealone,nottobebeatenorquestioned,tohaveenoughtoeat,andtobecleanallover,wascompletelysatisfying. 

           Bydegreeshecametospendlesstimeinsleep,buthestillfeltnoimpulsetogetoffthebed. Allhecaredforwastoliequietandfeelthestrengthgatheringinhisbody. Hewouldfingerhimselfhereandthere,tryingtomakesurethatitwasnotanillusionthathismusclesweregrowingrounderandhisskintauter. Finallyitwasestablishedbeyondadoubtthathewasgrowingfatter;histhighswerenowdefinitelythickerthanhisknees. Afterthat,reluctantlyatfirst,hebeganexercisinghimselfregularly. Inalittlewhilehecouldwalkthreekilometres,measuredbypacingthecell,andhisbowedshouldersweregrowingstraighter. Heattemptedmoreelaborateexercises,andwasastonishedandhumiliatedtofindwhatthingshecouldnotdo. Hecouldnotmoveoutofawalk,hecouldnotholdhisstooloutatarm’slength,hecouldnotstandononelegwithoutfallingover. Hesquatteddownonhisheels,andfoundthatwithagonizingpainsinthighandcalfhecouldjustlifthimselftoastandingposition.