1984

           Herlargeshapelybodyseemedtorelapsenaturallyintostillness. Forhoursatatimeshewouldsitalmostimmobileonthebed,nursinghisyoungsister,atiny,ailing,verysilentchildoftwoorthree,withafacemadesimianbythinness. VeryoccasionallyshewouldtakeWinstoninherarmsandpresshimagainstherforalongtimewithoutsayinganything. Hewasaware,inspiteofhisyouthfulnessandselfishness,thatthiswassomehowconnectedwiththenever-mentionedthingthatwasabouttohappen. 

           Herememberedtheroomwheretheylived,adark,close-smellingroomthatseemedhalffilledbyabedwithawhitecounterpane. Therewasagasringinthefender,andashelfwherefoodwaskept,andonthelandingoutsidetherewasabrownearthenwaresink,commontoseveralrooms. Herememberedhismother’sstatuesquebodybendingoverthegasringtostiratsomethinginasaucepan. Aboveallherememberedhiscontinuoushunger,andthefiercesordidbattlesatmealtimes. Hewouldaskhismothernaggingly,overandoveragain,whytherewasnotmorefood,hewouldshoutandstormather (heevenrememberedthetonesofhisvoice,whichwasbeginningtobreakprematurelyandsometimesboomedinapeculiarway), orhewouldattemptasnivellingnoteofpathosinhiseffortstogetmorethanhisshare. Hismotherwasquitereadytogivehimmorethanhisshare.Shetookitforgrantedthathe,‘theboy’,shouldhavethebiggestportion; buthowevermuchshegavehimheinvariablydemandedmore. Ateverymealshewouldbeseechhimnottobeselfishandtorememberthathislittlesisterwassickandalsoneededfood,butitwasnouse. Hewouldcryoutwithragewhenshestoppedladling,hewouldtrytowrenchthesaucepanandspoonoutofherhands,hewouldgrabbitsfromhissister’splate.