1984
Chapter 5
Hehaddraggedoutfromthecornersofhismemorysomemorefragmentsofforgottenrhymes. Therewasoneaboutfourandtwentyblackbirds,andanotheraboutacowwithacrumpledhorn,andanotheraboutthedeathofpoorCockRobin. ‘Itjustoccurredtomeyoumightbeinterested,’hewouldsaywithadeprecatinglittlelaughwheneverheproducedanewfragment. Buthecouldneverrecallmorethanafewlinesofanyonerhyme.
Bothofthemknew—inaway,itwasneveroutoftheirmindsthatwhatwasnowhappeningcouldnotlastlong. Thereweretimeswhenthefactofimpendingdeathseemedaspalpableasthebedtheylayon,andtheywouldclingtogetherwithasortofdespairingsensuality,likeadamnedsoulgraspingathislastmorselofpleasurewhentheclockiswithinfiveminutesofstriking. Buttherewerealsotimeswhentheyhadtheillusionnotonlyofsafetybutofpermanence.Solongastheywereactuallyinthisroom,theybothfelt,noharmcouldcometothem. Gettingtherewasdifficultanddangerous,buttheroomitselfwassanctuary. ItwasaswhenWinstonhadgazedintotheheartofthepaperweight,withthefeelingthatitwouldbepossibletogetinsidethatglassyworld,andthatonceinsideittimecouldbearrested. Oftentheygavethemselvesuptodaydreamsofescape.Theirluckwouldholdindefinitely,andtheywouldcarryontheirintrigue,justlikethis,fortheremainderoftheirnaturallives. OrKatharinewoulddie,andbysubtlemanoeuvringsWinstonandJuliawouldsucceedingettingmarried. Ortheywouldcommitsuicidetogether. Ortheywoulddisappear,alterthemselvesoutofrecognition,learntospeakwithproletarianaccents,getjobsinafactoryandliveouttheirlivesundetectedinaback-street. Itwasallnonsense,astheybothknew. Inrealitytherewasnoescape.
