Коллекционер

           Ican’tsing.Ordance.

           "Tellmeallthefunnystoriesyouknow."

           Idon’tknowany,Isaid.Itwastrue,Icouldn’tthinkofone.

           "Butyoumustdo.Ithoughtallmenhadtoknowdirtyjokes."

           Iwouldn’ttellyouoneifIknewit.

           "Whynot?"

           They’reformen.

           "Whatdoyouthinkwomentalkabout?IbetIknowmoredirtyjokesthanyoudo."

           Iwouldn’tbesurprised,Isaid.

           "Oh,you’relikemercury.Youwon’tbepickedup."

           Shewalkedaway,butsuddenlyshesnatchedacushionoffachair,turnedandkickeditstraightatme.Iofcoursewassurprised;Istoodup,andthenshedidthesamewithanother,andthenanotherthatmissedandknockedacopperkettleofftheside-table.

           Easyon,Isaid.

           "Come,thoutortoise!"shecried(aliteraryquotation,Ithinkitwas).Anyway,almostatonceshepulledajugthingoffthemantelpieceandthrewthatatme,Ithinkshecalledcatch,butIdidn’tanditbrokeagainstthewall.

           Steadyon,Isaid.

           Butanotherjugfollowed.Allthetimeshewaslaughing,therewasnothingviciousexactly,shejustseemedtobemad,likeakid.Therewasaprettygreenplatewithacottagemouldedinreliefthathungbythewindowandshehadthatoffthewallandsmashedthat.Idon’tknowwhy,IalwayslikedthatplateandIdidn’tliketoseeherbreakit,soIshouted,reallysharp,stopit!

           Allshedidwastoputherthumbtohernoseandmakearudesignandputhertongueout.Shewasjustlikeastreetboy.

           Isaid,yououghttoknowbetter.