Коллекционер

           Oneevening—itwasaftertheposhrestaurant,Iwasfeelingdepressed—ItoldAuntAnnieIfeltlikeawalk,whichIdid.IwalkedandIsuddenlyfeltI’dliketohaveawoman,ImeantobeabletoknowI’dhadawoman,soIrangupatelephonenumberachapatthecheque-givingceremonygaveme.Ifyouwantabitofyou-know-what,hesaid.

           Awomansaid,"I’mengaged."Iaskedifsheknewanyothernumber,andshegavemetwo.Well,Itookataxiroundtothesecondone’saddress.Iwon’tsaywhathappened,exceptthatIwasnogood.Iwastoonervous,ItriedtobeasifIknewallaboutitandofcourseshesaw,shewasoldandshewashorrible,horrible.Imean,boththefilthywayshebehavedandinlooks.Shewasworn,common.Likeaspecimenyou’dturnawayfrom,outcollecting.IthoughtofMirandaseeingmetherelikethat.AsIsaid,ItriedtodoitbutitwasnogoodandIdidn’ttryhardly.

           I’mnotthecrudepushingsort,Ineverhavebeen,Ialwayshadhigheraspirations,astheysay.Crutchleyusedtosayyouhadtopushnowadaystogetanywhere,andheusedtosay,lookatoldTom,lookwherebeingslimy’sgothim.Crutchleyusedtobeveryfamiliar,muchtoosoinyourstruly’sopinion,asIsaid.Thoughheknewwhentobeslimywhenitpaid;toMr.Williams,forinstance.Abitmorelife,Clegg,Mr.Williamsoncesaidtome,whenIwasonInquiries.Thepubliclikeasmileorasmalljokeonceinawhile,hesaid,wearen’tallbornwithagiftforit,likeCrutchley,butwecantry,youknow.Thatreallyriledme.IcansayIwassicktodeathwiththeAnnexe,andIwasgoingtoleaveanyhow.

           Iwasnotdifferent,Icanproveit,onereasonIgotfedupwithAuntAnniewasIstartedtogetinterestedwithsomeofthebooksyoucanbuyatshopsinSoho,booksofstarkwomenandallthat.Icouldhidethemagazines,buttherewerebooksIwantedtobuyandIcouldn’tincaseshetumbled.