Коллекционер

           Well,shewasontheflooragain,she’dtriedtogetoutofbed,Isupposetogotothebathroomortotrytoescape.AnywayIliftedherbacktobed,sheseemedtobehalfinacoma,shesaidsomewordsbutIcouldn’tmakethemoutandshedidn’tunderstandanythingIsaid.

           Isatbyheralmostallnight,someofthetimeIsleptoff.Twiceshestruggledtogetoutofbedagain,itwasnogood,shehadn’tthestrengthofaflea.Isaidthesameoldthingsagain,Isaidthedoctorwascominganditseemedtocalmher.Oncesheaskedwhatdayitwas,andIlied,IsaiditwasMonday(itwasWednesday)andsheseemedabitcalmerthen,too.ShejustsaidMonday,butyoucouldtellitdidn’tmeananything.Itwaslikeherbrainwasaffected,too.

           Iknewshewasdyingthen,Iknewallthatnight,Icouldhavetoldanyone.

           Ijustsatthere,listeningtoherbreathingandmuttering(sheneverseemedtosleepproperly)andthinkingaboutthewaythingsturnedout.Thinkingaboutmyrottenlifeandherlife,andeverythingelse.

           Anyonetherewouldseewhatitwaslike.Iwastrulyandreallyindespair,althoughIsayitmyself.Icouldn’tdoanything,Iwantedhertoliveso,andIcouldn’triskgettinghelp,Iwasbeaten,anyonewouldhaveseenit.AllthosedaysIknewIwouldneverloveanotherthesame.TherewasonlyMirandaforever.Iknewitthen.

           Anotherthingwas,shewastheonlyonewhoknewIlovedher.SheknewwhatIreallywas.Notlikeanyoneelsecouldeverunderstand.