Коллекционер

           Cordobacourtyards.Idon’ttrytoreproducetheplace,butthelightoftheplace.

           Fiatlux.

           I’vebeenplayingtheModernJazzQuartet’srecordsoverandoveragain.There’snonightintheirmusic,nosmokydives.Burstsandsparklesandlittlefizzesoflight,starlight,andsometimeshighnoon,tremendouseverywherelight,likechandeliersofdiamondsfloatinginthesky.

           December5th

           G.P.

           TheRapeofIntelligence.Bythemoneyedmasses,theNewPeople.

           Thingshesays.Theyshockyou,butyourememberthem.Theystick.Hard,meanttolast.

           I’vebeendoingskyscapesallday.Ijustdrawalineaninchfromthebottom.That’stheearth.ThenIthinkofnothingbutthesky.Junesky,December,August,spring-rain,thunder,dawn,dusk.I’vedonedozensofskies.Puresky,nothingelse.Justthesimplelineandtheskiesabove.

           Astrangethought:Iwouldnotwantthisnottohavehappened.BecauseifIescapeIshallbeacompletelydifferentandIthinkbetterperson.BecauseifIdon’tescape,ifsomethingdreadfulhappened,IshallstillknowthatthepersonIwasandwouldhavestayedifthishadn’thappenedwasnotthepersonInowwanttobe.

           It’slikefiringapot.Youhavetoriskthecrackingandthewarping.

           Caliban’sveryquiet.Asortoftruce.

           I’mgoingtoasktogouptomorrow.Iwanttoseeifhe’sactuallydoinganything.

           TodayIaskedhimtobindmeandgagmeandletmesitatthefootofthecellarstepswiththedooroutopen.Intheendheagreed.