Коллекционер

           Buteverythingbeyondwhathepaysforandseeshimselfgetissuspicioustohim.Hedoesn’tbelieveinanyotherworldbuttheonehelivesinandsees.He’stheoneinprison;inhisownhatefulnarrowpresentworld.

           November12th

           Thelastnightbutone.Idaren’tthinkaboutit,aboutnotescaping.I’vekeptremindinghim,recently.ButnowIfeelIshouldhavesprungitonhimmoreorlesssuddenly.TodayIdecidedthatIwouldorganizealittlepartytomorrownight.IshallsayIfeeldifferentlytowardshim,thatIwanttobehisfriendandlameduckhiminLondon.

           Itwon’tbealtogetheralie,IfeelaresponsibilitytowardshimthatIdon’treallyunderstand.Isooftenhatehim,IthinkIoughttoforeverhatehim.YetIdon’talways.Mypitywins,andIdowanttohelphim.IthinkofpeopleIcouldintroducehimto.HecouldgotoCaroline’spsychiatristfriend.I’dbelikeEmmaandarrangeamarriageforhim,andwithhappierresults.SomelittleHarrietSmith,withwhomhecouldbemousyandsaneandhappy.

           IknowIhavetosteelmyselfagainstnotbeingfreed.Itellmyselfit’sachanceinahundredthathe’llkeephisword.

           Buthemustkeephisword.

           G.P.

           Ihadn’tseenhimfortwomonths,morethantwomonths.BeinginFranceandSpainandthenathome.(Ididtrytoseehimtwice,buthewasawayallSeptember.)Therewasapostcardinanswertomyletters.Thatwasall.

           ItelephonedhimandaskedhimifIcouldgoround,thefirsteveningIwasbackwithCaroline.