Коллекционер

           Hestartsbybeinganicelittleclerkendsupasadroolinghorror-filmmonster.

           WhenhewasgoingIshowedittohim.Hedidn’tlaugh,hesimplylookedatitcarefully.

           It’sonlynatural,hesaid.Hemeant,thatIshouldmakesuchfunofhim.

           Iamoneinarowofspecimens.It’swhenItrytoflutteroutoflinethathehatesme.I’mmeanttobedead,pinned,alwaysthesame,alwaysbeautiful.Heknowsthatpartofmybeautyisbeingalive,butit’sthedeadmehewants.Hewantsmeliving-but-dead.Ifeltitterriblystrongtoday.Thatmybeingaliveandchangingandhavingaseparatemindandhavingmoodsandallthatwasbecominganuisance.

           Heissolid;immovable,iron-willed.Heshowedmeonedaywhathecalledhiskilling-bottle.I’mimprisonedinit.Flutteringagainsttheglass.BecauseIcanseethroughitIstillthinkIcanescape.Ihavehope.Butit’sallanillusion.

           Athickroundwallofglass.

           November7th

           Howthedaysdrag.Today.Intolerablylong.

           MyoneconsolationisG.P.’sdrawing.Itgrowsonme.Onone.It’stheonlyliving,unique,createdthinghere.It’sthefirstthingIlookatwhenIwakeup,thelastthingatnight.Istandinfrontofitandstareatit.Iknoweveryline.Hemadeafudgeofoneofherfeet.There’ssomethingslightlyunbalancedaboutthewholecomposition,asifthere’satinybitmissingsomewhere.Butitlives.

           Aftersupper(we’rebacktonormal)CalibanhandedmeTheCatcherintheRyeandsaid,I’vereadit.