Коллекционер

           Thenshesaid,doesn’titterrifyyou?

           Notmorethansomanyotherthings.

           I’mserious.IfyoumarriedhimI’dneverspeaktoyouagain.

           Andshewasserious.Thatveryquickgreyshylooksheputson,likealittlelance.Igotupandkissedheronthewayupandwenttomeettheboys.Andshesatthere,stilllookingdownatthesand.

           We’rebothterriblelookers-through.Wecan’thelpit.Butshe’salwayssaid,Ibelievethis,Ishallactlikethis.It’sgottobesomeoneyouatleastfeelisyourequal,whocanlookthroughaswellasyou.Andthebodything’salwaysgottobesecond.AndI’vealwayssecretlythought,Carmenwillbeanotherspinster.It’stoocomplicatedforsetideas.

           ButnowIthinkofG.P.andIcomparehimtoPiers.AndPiershasgotnothingonhisside.Justagoldenbodythrowingstonesaimlesslyintothesea.

           November5th

           Igavehimhelltonight.

           Istartedthrowingthingsaroundupstairs.Firstcushionsandthenplates.I’vebeenlongingtobreakthem.

           ButIwasbeastly,really.Spoilt.Hesuffereditall.He’ssoweak.Heoughttohaveslappedmeacrosstheface.

           Hedidcatchholdofme,tostopmebreakinganotherofhiswretchedplates.Wesorarelytouch.Ihatedit.Itwaslikeicywater.

           Ilecturedhim.Itoldhimallabouthimselfandwhatheoughttodoinlife.Buthedoesn’tlisten.Helikesmetotalkabouthim.Itdoesn’tmatterwhatIsay.

           Iwon’twriteanymore.I’mreadingSenseandSensibilityandImustfindoutwhathappenstoMarianne.