Коллекционер

           Thewildazureseathroughthestemsandtheheatandthesmellofeverythingburntinit.PiersandIandeveryoneexceptMinnygotabittipsy.Sleepingintheshade,wakingupstaringthroughtheleavesatthecobaltbluesky,thinkinghowimpossiblethingsweretopaint,howcansomebluepigmentevermeanthelivingbluelightofthesky.IsuddenlyfeltIdidn’twanttopaint,paintingwasjustshowingoff,thethingwastoexperienceandexperienceforevermore.

           Thebeautifulcleansunontheblood-redstems.

           AndcomingbackIhadalongtalkwiththeniceshyboy,Jean-Louis.HisbadEnglishandmybadFrench,yetweunderstoodeachother.Terriblytimidhewas.FrightenedofPiers.Jealousofhim.Jealousofhisthrowinganarmroundme,thesillyloutPiersis.AndwhenIdiscoveredhewasgoingtobeapriest.

           Pierswassocrudeafterwards.Thatstupidclumsyfright-ened-of-being-softEnglishmalecrueltytothetruth.Hecouldn’tseethatofcoursepoorJean-Louislikedme,ofcoursehewassexuallyattracted,buttherewasthisotherthing,itwasn’treallyshyness,itwasadeterminationtotrytobeapriestandtoliveintheworld.Asimplycolossaleffortofcomingtotermswithoneself.Likedestroyingallthepaintingsone’severdoneandmakinganewstart.Onlyhehadtodoiteveryday.Everytimehesawagirlheliked.AndallPierscouldsaywas:Ibethe’shavingdirtydreamsaboutyou.

           Soghastly,thatarrogance,thatinsensitivity,ofboyswho’vebeentopublicschools.