Коллекционер

           SoIshallhavefourorfivehours(unlesshecheatsanddoesn’tgetallI’veasked,buthe’sneverfailedbefore).

           IfeltsorryforCalibanthisevening.HewillsufferwhenIamgone.Therewillbenothingleft.He’llbealonewithallhissexneurosisandhisclassneurosisandhisuselessnessandhisemptiness.He’saskedforit.I’mnotreallysorry.ButI’mnotabsolutelyunsorry.

           November4th

           Icouldn’twriteyesterday.Toofedup.

           Iwassostupid.Igothimawayallyesterday.Ihadhourstoescape.ButIneverreallythoughtoftheproblems.Isawmyselfscoopingouthandfulsofsoftloamyearth.Thenailwasuseless,itwouldn’tdigthecementproperly.Ithoughtitwouldcrumbleaway.Itwasterriblyhard.Itookhourstogetonestoneout.Therewasn’tearthbehind,butanotherstone,abiggerone,chalk,andIcouldn’tevenfindwhereitsedgewas.Igotanotherstoneoutofthewall,butitdidn’thelp.Therewasthesamehugestonebehind.Ibegantogetdesperate,Isawthetunnelwasnogood.Ihitviolentlyatthedoor,Itriedtoforceitwiththenail,andmanagedtohurtmyhand.That’sall.AllIhadattheendwasasorehandandbrokenfingernails.

           I’mjustnotstrongenough,withouttools.Evenwithtools.

           IntheendIputthestonesbackandpowdered(aswellasIcould)thecementandmixeditwithwaterandtalcumpowdertocamouflagethehole.