Коллекционер

           Isawhimonceatthebeginningofthismonth.ButI’llwriteaboutthatanothertime.AndI’llwriteaboutthestrangetalkIhadwiththeNielsenwoman.

           SomethingToinettesaid.Shesaid,hetalkedabouthisboysandIfeltsosorryforhim.Howtheyusedtoaskhimnottogototheirposhprepschool,buttomeettheminthetown.Ashamedtohavehimseen.HowRobert(atMarl-borough)patronizeshimnow.

           Henevertalkedtomeaboutthem.PerhapshesecretlythinksIbelongtothesameworld.

           Alittlemiddle-classboarding-schoolprig.

           (Evening.)ItriedtodrawG.P.frommemoryagaintoday.Hopeless.

           CsatreadingTheCatcherintheRyeaftersupper.SeveraltimesIsawhimlooktoseehowmanypagesmorehehadtoread.

           Hereadsitonlytoshowmehowhardheistrying.

           Iwaspassingthefrontdoortonight(bath)andIsaid,well,thankyouforalovelyevening,goodbyenow.AndImadeasiftoopenthedoor.Itwaslocked,ofcourse.Itseemsstuck,Isaid.Andhedidn’tsmile,hejuststoodwatchingme.Isaid,It’sonlyajoke.Iknow,hesaid.It’sverypeculiar—hemademefeelafool.Justbynotsmiling.

           OfcourseG.P.wasalwaystryingtogetmeintobed.Idon’tknowwhybutIseethatmoreclearlynowthanIeverdidatthetime.Heshockedme,bulliedme,tauntedme—neverinnastyways.Obliquely.Hedidn’teverforcemeinanyway.Touchme.Imean,he’srespectedmeinaqueerway.Idon’tthinkhereallyknewhimself.Hewantedtoshockme—tohimorawayfromhim,hedidn’tknow.