Коллекционер

           Andperhaps(I’mbeingvain)itwassomethingthathappenedwhenCarolinewasgoingoninhersillywoman-of-advanced-ideasway—justalookbetweenus.IknewhewasirritatedandheknewIwasashamed.SohewentroundKenwoodwithusandCarolineshowedoff.

           UntilshesaidinfrontoftheRembrandt,don’tyouthinkhegottheteeniestbitboredhalfwaythrough—ImeanIneverfeelIfeelwhatIoughttofeel.Youknow?Andshegavehimherstupidlisten-to-melaugh.

           Iwaslookingathimandhisfacesuddenlywentminutelystiff,asifhe’dbeencaughtoffguard.Itwasn’tdoneformetosee,itwastheminutestchangeinthesetofhismouth.Hejustgaveheronelook.Almostamused.Buthisvoicewasn’t.Itwasicycold.

           Imustgonow.Goodbye.Thegoodbyewasforme.Itwrotemeoff.Oritsaid—soyoucanputupwiththis?Imean(lookingbackonit)heseemedtobeteachingmealesson.Ihadtochoose.Caroline’sway,orhis.

           Andhewasgone,wedidn’tevenanswer,andCarolinewaslookingafterhim,andshruggingandlookingatmeandsaying,well,really.

           Iwatchedhimgoout,hishandsinhispockets.Iwasred.Carolinewasfurious,tryingtoslideoutofit.("He’salwayslikethat,hedoesitdeliberately.")Sneeringathispaintingallthewayhome("second-ratePaulNash"—ridiculouslyunfair).Andmefeelingsoangrywithher,andsorryforheratthesametime.Icouldn’tspeak.Icouldn’tbesorryforher,butIcouldn’ttellherhewasright.