Chapter 20

           TomwenttoEastbournewithhisfamilyforChristmas.JuliahadtwoperformancesonBoxingDay,sotheGosselynsstayedintown;theywenttoalargepartyattheSavoythatDollydeVriesgavetoseetheNewYearin;andafewdayslaterRogersetoffforVienna.WhilehewasinLondonJuliasawlittleofTom.ShedidnotaskRogerwhattheydidwhentheytoreaboutthetowntogether,shedidnotwanttoknow,shesteeledherselfnottothinkanddistractedhermindbygoingtoasmanypartiesasshecould.Andtherewasalwaysheracting;whenonceshegotintothetheatreheranguish,herhumiliation,herjealousywereallayed.Itgaveherasenseoftriumphantpowertofind,asitwereinherpotofgreasepaint,anotherpersonalitythatcouldbetouchedbynohumangriefs.Withthatrefugealwaysathandshecouldsupportanything.

           OnthedaythatRogerleft,Tomrangherupfromhisoffice.

           "Areyoudoinganythingtonight?Whataboutgoingoutonthebinge?"

           "No,I’mbusy."

           Itwasnottrue,butthewordsslippedoutofhermouth,independentofherwill.

           "Oh,areyou?Well,whatabouttomorrow?"

           Ifhehadexpresseddisappointment,ifhehadaskedhertocutthedatehesupposedshehad,shemighthavehadstrengthtobreakwithhimthenandthere.Hiscasualnessdefeatedher.

           "Tomorrow’sallright."

           "O.K.I’llfetchyouatthetheatreaftertheshow.Bye-bye."

           Juliawasreadyandwaitingwhenhewasshownintoherdressing-room.Shewasstrangelynervous.