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Chapter 18

Whyhadn’tshecalledRainerHartheim,askedhimtobewithher?Surelysheknewhowmuchhelovedher,howmuchhewouldwanttobewithhernow?ButthethoughtneverstayedlongenoughinCardinalRalph’stiredmindtocallRainerhimself,thoughhehadwonderedaboutitoffandonsincebeforeleavingRome.Theywerestrange,theDroghedapeople.Theydidn’tlikecompanyingrief;theypreferredtobealonewiththeirpain.

OnlyFeeandMeggiesatwithCardinalRalphinthedrawingroomafteradinnerleftuneaten.Noonesaidaword;theormoluclockonthemarblemanteltickedthunderously,andMaryCarson’spaintedeyesstaredamutechallengeacrosstheroomtoFee’sgrandmother.FeeandMeggiesattogetheronacreamsofa,shoulderslightlytouching;CardinalRalphneverrememberedtheirbeingsocloseintheolddays.Buttheysaidnothing,didnotlookateachotherorathim.

Hetriedtoseewhatitwashehaddonewrong.Toomuchwrong,thatwasthetrouble.Pride,ambition,acertainunscrupulousness.AndloveforMeggiefloweringamongthem.Butthecrowninggloryofthatlovehehadneverknown.Whatdifferencewouldithavemadetoknowhissonwashisson?Wasitpossibletolovetheboymorethanhehad?Wouldhehavepursuedadifferentpathifhehadknownabouthisson?Yes!criedhisheart.No,sneeredhisbrain.