Поющие в терновнике

           Tosayyes,commitherselftohim,andthenhavetowatchhimrecoilwhenhefoundouttheextentofherinadequacy?Unbearable!Hewouldlearnwhatshewasreallylike,andtheknowledgewouldkillhisloveforher.Unbearabletosayyes,andendinbeingrebuffedforalltime.Farbettertodoanyrebuffingherself.Thatwayatleastpridewouldbesatisfied,andJustineownedallhermother’spride.Rainmustneverdiscoverwhatshewaslikebeneathallthatbrickflippancy.

           HehadfalleninlovewiththeJustinehesaw;shehadnotallowedhimanyopportunitytosuspecttheseaofdoubtsbeneath.ThoseonlyDanesuspected—no,knew.

           Shebentforwardtoputherforeheadagainstthecoolbedsidetable,tearsrunningdownherface.ThatwaswhyshelovedDaneso,ofcourse.KnowingwhattherealJustinewaslike,andstilllovingher.Bloodhelped,sodidalifetimeofsharedmemories,problems,pains,joys.WhereasRainwasastranger,notcommittedtoherthewayDanewas,oreventheothermembersofherfamily.Nothingobligedhimtoloveher.

           Shesniffled,wipedherpalmaroundherface,shruggedhershouldersandbeganthedifficultbusinessofpushinghertroublebackintosomecornerofhermindwhereitcouldliepeacefully,unremembered.Sheknewshecoulddoit;shehadspentallherlifeperfectingthetechnique.Onlyitmeantceaselessactivity,continuousabsorptioninthingsoutsideherself.Shereachedoverandswitchedonthebedsidelamp.